Coffee, tea or me? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe?
In our lifetime, we are always faced with decisions. We need to choose what food to eat, which clothes to wear, what to buy, where to live, what to do, who to be with, etcetera, etcetera. Decisions ... choices ... all these run our waking moments. We cannot solely use feelings or gut instinct in choosing what's best for us. If we do, we're doomed.
Same goes with love.
Erich Fromm once said, “Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.”
So true. I just remember how my old grands decided to love each other no matter what. They did not feel. They decided. How come? I just knew ... my grands would always tell me how they first met and how they were engaged and married. I am also a living witness of how they struggled to be with each other in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer and till-death-do-they-part. (Well, they're normally always healthy, thank God for that, but they're poorer money-wise but very rich with all our love. And right now, they're still alive and kicking, with the energy to travel near or far.)
The same story goes with my mom and dad. Despite their imperfections and incompatibilities, they still hang on to each other, and tried to fulfill the promises they made to each other and to God.
That's decision and not just emotion!
As February 14 is only a day away, we are also faced with even the simple dilemmas of what to give to our love ones, where to go for a date, what to do on a date, and who to be with. We don't use our feelings to determine our choices, rather we decide. Most of the time, the decisions we make on Valentines Day can make or break the days that follow.
Whatever you choose for the day of love, make sure that it's not based on feelings alone. It should be based on logically sound decision. That way, your choices will surely last a lifetime ... the till-death-do-you-part kind of thing.
Come to think of it, how do I spend my Valentines Day?
Simple! I choose to spend it with my colleagues, my friends, my family and my Tomiko, with simple sweet gifts to make the day a little different from today. It's my decision. It's not based on emotion.
And oohhh, I also decided to unlove the unlovable, too, and declare this year's February 14 my independence day. That's a big tiger promise (please help me God).
---oOo---
“Without the decision of the will, love is a mockery; without the emotion of the heart, love is a drudgery.” - Ravi Zacharias
When I walk with Grandpa,
