Letting Go

I'd like to go back climbing a birch tree. And climb the birches' snow-white trunk towards heaven, 'till the tree could bear no more. But then it stop and send me down again. Then we could have both be going and coming back - or we could do worse - we could be swinger of branches.

~oOo~

Letting go would be hard, I know ... but I really have to. I know it would mean no turning back, no regrets and no pointing of fingers. Everything should still go on, no matter what.

The world is complex, everybody is complicated, and all circumstances change. I already expected this to happen ... I know this would happen. Nothing is permanent, nothing is secure ... nobody is indispensable.

But, though these changes are expected, I was still shocked.

Sometimes I asked myself, "Have I done something wrong?" Perhaps I have, but, gee I'm proud - choosing pebbles is a tough job.

I know when it's time to let go - when it's  time to swing branches. It would not be easy then, but I know I can, I will, because I choose to.

If I stay ... the future's unclear ... the sky is dark with gloom. I thought the sun would change the air, but its brightness seemed to shy away that even the moon and stars fail to appear. Perhaps, somewhere near, the trees are stronger.

Swinging branches would not be easy then. I need to know if I can hold on to it for long. What if the branch I'm on breaks? Can I stand up after the fall? Or - would there be somebody ready to help me stand after all?

I know it would be hard to say goodbye to all those I hate and love. I could just lock all the memories, treasuring them safely, in my heart and mind.

For it's when the love fade away, when the going gets tough, and only the tough gets going, that it's time to let go.

(12.16.2003)